it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
