all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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