Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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