There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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