I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
