just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
