Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
