I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
