He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
