there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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