No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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