Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
