Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize