She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
