i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me