So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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