Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
