my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
should my penis look like a turkey
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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