My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
