it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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