Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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