sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize