I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
