I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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