Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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