Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
