we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
