it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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