meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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