How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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