don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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