I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
