I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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