I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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