so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
