Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
