Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
