dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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