Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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