Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
