I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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