I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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