Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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