I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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