I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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