I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
