I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I believe in your delicious
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
