Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
