So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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