someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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