ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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