come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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