Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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