Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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