I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
