i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
