Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
