do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
