What did we do last night that was yellow?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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