his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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