well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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