I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
