Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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